Stage Tuners!! A GREAT INVENTION!!

Ok, here goes, I have a big problem with bands that have no idea what a STAGE TUNER IS!!! COME ON, they cost about 30-90 bucks!! INVEST IN IT AND STOP ANNOYING ME AND MANY OTHERS WITH WITH DING-DONG...BING-DONG...PING-DONG...And so on, OR I hear this from the stage, "Hey bass player, hit your E!" This is a stupid move you dickface, because your bass player is also, without a stage tuner!! So NOW we ALL get to listen to both of you trying to tune at the same time! AND "Bob" forbid, that either of you turn your sorry sounding amps down to perform this amazing task!! Go to Craigslist and type in "STAGE TUNER" And be sure to find one that you can read in the dark from 4 to 6 feet away. And it is only good if it has a true BYPASS, this enables you to tune in silence at the touch of a footswitch...Ahhh, is'nt that better? You will appear more pro! Thank you!